Stupid and Contagious
by dawnrene
Summary: Bella decides to attend Grad School after being told that she can't. Life-changing experiences await her: new friends, lots of alcohol, and maybe even love. AH, full summary inside. Formerly "The Idiot's Guide to Grad School" and "I'm Not Waiting"
1. Chapter 1

_**SUMMARY:**__ Bella decides to go to grad school after being told by an annoying ex that she'd never make it. She meets the Cullens (they have different last names) and hilarity ensues. Will her grad school experience force her to grow up? Or will she realize that she's just the same old Bella…and that's okay?_

_**A/N: **__I'm not a Jacob hater, so please don't slam me. I just needed a villain to put the events in motion. I'm also still working on "Sunrise, Sunset," but this idea has been kicking around for a while, so I needed to put it on paper. Rated M for language and possibly more._

_Eventual Canon pairings. All human. All Bella POV._

_I'm not one to typically beg for reviews, but if you could take the time to tell me what you think, I'd appreciate it more than you know.

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I have _really_ got to stop letting people get to me.

This was my thought as I hauled my giant trunk up the stairs to my fifth floor walk-up. It was my fourth trip up these damn stairs, and I was sweating and frustrated. New York in the summer is what Hell must feel like. 99 degrees with 90 percent humidity. Why the hell did I do this to myself?

It all started when I ran into my ex-boyfriend, Jacob, at a club in LA. We had broken up two months before the run-in, and it was the first time we'd seen each other since. I was out with my friends Angela and Ben, celebrating Angela's birthday, when I saw him across the room. To say I was shocked is an understatement. Jacob is not exactly a social butterfly. In fact, in the three months we were together, I had to twist his arm to get him to go out. He hated bars, probably because he was socially inept. What was even more shocking was the fact that he was with a girl.

Here's what you need to know about Jacob: he's from a small town in Washington. He went to an even smaller university in Maryland, then decided to do his spontaneous act of the century and move out to Los Angeles. When I met him I was working as a cocktail waitress at a lounge in Hollywood, a job I hated with an all-consuming passion. Not only did I have to deal with drunken assholes trying to put tips in my cleavage, I also had to fend off advances from my boss, who regularly reminded me that the only reason he hired me was because he wanted to sleep with me. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, and all in all, I was feeling trapped.

Jacob was the seemingly sweet, stable guy I thought I needed. He had his life together (so I thought), he was charming, and most of all, he adored me. That was what proved to be our downfall.

You see, before we met, Jacob was a virgin. How a 25-year-old man can still be a virgin is beyond me. It only took two dates to take care of that little problem, and after that, he rarely left my side. What was at first sweet became an annoyance. I would become nauseous just thinking about him. That was my clue that it had to end.

But instead of being brave and up front about it, I took the "it's-not-you-it's-me" route, creating a lavish story about how I was never loved by my father and so I didn't know how to love, and maybe I needed to get counseling for my commitment issues. He cried. We're not talking light tears, either. We're talking full, body-racking sobs. The kind of sobs a grown man should never subject himself to. He said he understood and hoped that my counseling would prove to be "worthwhile," and he would pray that I would get my "issues" straightened out.

What an asshole.

So two months after this conversation took place, I happen to run into him. He immediately spots me and comes over, dragging the little tart behind him. He gives me a hesitant smile and puts his hand on my shoulder. I struggle not to gag.

"Bella, this is Leah," he introduces us. At the sound of my name, Leah pales. _Ah, so he's mentioned me_.

Jacob leans down to whisper in my ear.

"How are you feeling, Bella?" He asks me, his voice husky with concern. I glare at him.

"Just fine, thank you. Taking the night off work."

"I thought you were going to quit that job. That's what you told me," he accused, hurt seeping into his voice.

"That's the plan. I just have to figure out what I'm going to do. I'm thinking about grad school." _Where the fuck did that come from?_ Angela was looking at me, puzzled. Ben, having adopted a no-Jacob policy, simply engaged in a conversation with the person to his left.

Jacob smirked. The jerk actually _smirked._

"Like you could get into grad school, Bella." My temper flared, and the only thing that stopped me from wiping that smirk off his face was Angela's reassuring hand on my arm. I breathed deeply, willing the anger to fade.

"Why is that so hard to believe, Jacob?" I bit out his name. He shrugged.

"Well, it's not like you had the grades in college. Besides, you have your _issues_." Had Angela not tightened her grip, his face would have shaken hands with the floor. I shook with anger. _Why do I let him get to me?_

"My _issues_ are none of your concern." He nodded sympathetically.

"Sure, whatever you say."

_Fucker._

Suddenly, a whiny voice piped up from behind him. "Jacob, come on! You promised we'd dance!" Leah's voice was like nails on a chalkboard. Jacob didn't seem to notice as he wrapped his arm securely around her waist and turned to leave.

"Bye Bella. Good luck with grad school." He smirked again, then walked away, the little poodle in tow. I turned to Angela.

"Why do I let him get to me?" She shrugged.

"I was wondering the same thing," she answered.

I spent three days mulling this over and decided that grad school actually might not be such a bad idea. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life: I hated my job, and if I stayed in LA much longer I'd probably go on a killing spree, starting with Jacob. It was time to get the hell out of Dodge.

So with that in mind, I set out to find schools. After looking at virtually every school that had a graduate program in Biology, I settled on New York University. It appealed to me since it was on the other side of the country and there was no way in hell I would run into Jacob, therefore keeping me out of jail. It was a win-win situation. Now all I had to do was figure out the financials.

That's where the Bank of Dad came in.

This was going to be tricky. Charlie knew I had spent my undergraduate years in a drunken stupor, skipping class on an almost daily basis. Even though I graduated with a 3.2 cumulative average, I had been put on academic probation during my junior year and had to go for an extra semester. To say he was unenthusiastic is an understatement.

"Why do you need to go to graduate school? You barely survived college as it was."

"I know Dad, but I feel completely lost. My life is going nowhere. I'm stuck in a dead end job that I hate. I need a change," I argued. He sighed.

"What are you going to do with a graduate degree? Is it going to open up more opportunities for you?" I nodded eagerly, taking advantage of the topic he opened up.

"I can teach. If I decide I want to work in a lab, I have to have a Master's degree anyway. There's a whole host of opportunities for me if I do this." I could feel that he was starting to relent. Charlie had always dreamed of me going to work in a bio lab, something he wanted to do but was unable to afford the schooling for. I knew it was low to play that card, but I was desperate.

He sighed heavily. "What schools have you looked at?" I smiled.

"I've looked at a bunch, but I'm pretty set on NYU. They have a great program in Developmental Genetics, and it's only a two year program."

"Were your grades good enough to get in?"

"You had to have a B average, and that's what I graduated with. Dad, I've got the grades, all I need is the tuition money. I can apply for financial aid, but it won't cover all of it." His face was still hard.

"Please, Dad, this is something I really want to do. I have to find something to do with my life, and this is a great opportunity. I hate being aimless, and I know this will put some direction into my life." I knew I was begging, but I was surprisingly sincere. Up until now, I was only doing this because Jacob told me I couldn't. But now I found that I desperately wanted to find my purpose in life, and I knew that this could be my chance to do that.

It took another two weeks of pleading, but Charlie finally came around and agreed to pay for my tuition, on the conditions that I eventually pay him back and I seriously consider going to work in a lab.

I took great pride in quitting my job and informing my boss that he could go fuck himself. I said goodbye to my friends. I was out with Angela and Ben the night before I was set to leave when I heard my name being spoken smugly from behind me. I cringed. I knew that voice.

"Hello Jacob," I said coldly, turning slowly to face him. I wasn't surprised to see Leah clinging to him. Jacob took in our empty plates, two bottles of wine, and margarita glasses. He turned back to me with disapproval on his face.

"Taking another night off work?" I smiled winningly. This was what I had been waiting for.

"No, actually, I quit my job." His face registered surprise.

"Did you find another job?" I shook my head.

"Nope." A moment, then: "I'm actually leaving for grad school in the morning." Jacob laughed. The asshole actually _laughed_.

"No, really, what are you going to do?" I smiled indulgently, like he was a two-year-old child.

"I am going to NYU." His jaw dropped. "To study Developmental Genetics." His jaw hit the cement. All of the bullshit I was undoubtedly going to be going through over the next two years was so worth it for that moment. He stuttered as Leah tightened her hold on his waist.

I was enjoying this immensely.

"Well, enjoy school, I guess," he said, still shocked.

"I will," I replied, turning my back to him. Angela was grinning, and Ben reached out to high-five me.

It was the best farewell dinner I could have asked for.

Fast forward to me flinging open the door to my apartment after my sixth trip up the stairs, grumbling under my breath. "I am going to _kill_ Jacob," I muttered, breathing heavily before I dragged the final trunk into the apartment.

I noticed my roommates weren't in residence yet, and a shower was desperately in order. I spent 20 minutes letting the hot water relax my sore muscles. Once out, I wrapped myself in my oversized towel and opened the door.

"Holy shit!" I shrieked. The tiny girl on the other side of the door screamed too.

"Alice?" I heard a male voice call from down the hallway. "Are you okay?" A moment later a Greek god stepped into my line of vision. His green eyes were startling vibrant, his unusual bronze hair arranged in disarray. The shirt he wore showed off his muscular body. I felt my breath hitch.

"Yes, Edward, I'm fine," the pixie-like girl answered, recovering from her shock. She extended a hand. "I'm Alice, and this is my brother Edward. Are you Bella or Rosalie?" I took her offered hand and shook it firmly.

"Bella. It's nice to meet you both." I couldn't take my eyes off of Edward. I knew it was impolite to stare, and I was embarrassing myself beyond belief, but I couldn't help it. There was only one word to describe him: perfection.

He cleared his throat lightly and looked pointedly at me. It was at that moment that I realized I was only wearing a towel. My cheeks flushed as I hurriedly excused myself. I ran to my room and threw on whatever clothes I could find, hurriedly dragging a comb through my wet hair. As I left my room I heard voices in the kitchen, and directed myself toward them. Alice smiled when I entered the room and indicated to the seat next to her. I decided then and there that I liked Alice.

"So, Bella. Tell me everything about yourself. Where are you from? What are you studying? Do you have a boyfriend? Do you like it in New York? Are you-" I laughed as I held up my hand to stop her.

"I'm from Los Angeles." Her eyes lit up and she opened her mouth to respond, but I kept talking. "I'm getting my Master's in Developmental Genetics. No boyfriend, thank God. I like New York so far, but there's still time." I smiled to let her know I was joking. Her eyes were shining.

"I've always wanted to go to Los Angeles! I am so jealous! Did you grow up there? Did you meet any famous people? Are Brad and Angelina just a gorgeous in real life?"

"I grew up in Phoenix, but after I graduated I moved to LA for a change of scenery, and also to be near my father. I never met any famous people, and I've never seen Brad and Angelina up close." She frowned.

"How can you live in _Los Angeles_ and not meet anybody famous?" She looked like she might start to rant, but Edward put a gentle hand on her shoulder. Until then, I had forgotten he was there.

"Alice," he scolded in his velvet voice. "I think you're overwhelming her." He looked at me apologetically. Alice just pouted.

"Bella's going to be my roommate for the next two years! I have to know everything about her!" I laughed again, and this time Edward joined me. I relished the sound of his musical tenor.

"Alice, you have two years to get to know me, and I promise you will find out more about me than you ever wanted to know." Her eyes lit up again. This seemed to pacify her. "How about you? Are you from around here?" She shook her head.

"We grew up in Chicago. When I decided to go to grad school, Edward convinced me to look at NYU since they have a killer acting program."

"So you're an actress?" She nodded.

"Yeah. Edward works at a law firm in Midtown, so I was able to come out here and stay with him while I looked at the school." I turned my attention to Edward.

"So you're a lawyer? What kind of law?" His eyes burned into mine.

"Marital." Talk about a conversation killer. I switched tactics.

"So what brought you out here?" He smiled a small crooked smile that made my heart race.

"They made me an offer I couldn't refuse." I laughed. His cell phone rang, and he sent me an apologetic look. "Excuse me for a moment," he said, flipping his phone open. "Hi Tanya." Alice's scowl didn't escape me as she watched her brother leave the room.

"Girlfriend?" She nodded grimly. Though I wasn't surprised, I was vaguely disappointed. _Get a grip Bella! _I admonished myself.

"I wish he would just dump that dumb bitch." Alice's venomous voice broke through my thoughts. I stared at her in surprise.

"Not a fan?" I guessed.

"Not at all. She's not good for him. For one thing, she's controlling as hell. She doesn't like him to have any friends. She hates that he spends time with me. If she saw you, she'd never let him out of her sight. She doesn't deserve him and she knows it. So she makes his life a living hell." I smirked.

"Something tells me that you've made it very clear that he's too good for her." She smiled sheepishly. I took that as a yes. I was about to ask her more, but Edward chose that moment to enter the room. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"Ali, I'm so sorry, but I have to go. Tanya's having a small crisis." Alice scowled.

"What? She broke a nail?"

"Alice, be nice," he scolded, kissing her on the forehead. "I'll call you later." He turned to me hand extended. "Bella, it was a pleasure meeting you."

"Likewise." I shook his hand firmly.

"I'm sure I'll be seeing you again soon." I watched as he turned to walk out the door, and I knew in that instant that he would break my heart, whether he meant to or not. It also occurred to me that I would never have been in this situation if I hadn't decided to go back to school.

Fucking Jacob.


	2. Chapter 2

_Sorry it took me so long to get this chapter out, but hey, I managed to get a chapter up for each story today, so I think I deserve a little credit! ;)_

_This chapter just introduces everybody and plants a little sexual tension between our favorite lovers. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it._

_And if you haven't yet, please check out my other story, Sunrise, Sunset._

_*D*  
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I will never forget the first time I met Rosalie Hale.

She swept into the apartment like a hurricane, trailing a floral scented perfume behind her. Following her was some poor guy in a penguin suit laden with suitcases, whom she introduced as her chauffeur. Alice and I looked at each other and struggled not to roll our eyes. It was obvious we were dealing with a princess here.

But despite her dramatically glorious entrance, Rosalie was surprisingly down to earth. Self-deprecating and sarcastic, she and I discovered right away that we shared the same sense of humor, and she and Alice shared a similar love for fashion.

Rosalie was beautiful. Tall and slender, with long blonde hair and big cornflower blue eyes, she put Heidi Klum to shame. I felt pitifully plain next to her.

The three of us formed a bond that made Carrie Bradshaw and friends look like mere acquaintances. With a week before school started, we started scoping out the local bars and making connections. Rosalie immediately became attached to one of our neighbors, a Psychology major by the name of Emmett, and he started to come out with us, along with his roommate Jasper, whose major we still had yet to determine, and who had eyes only for Alice.

The five of us made a formidable group. Rose, the beauty. Alice, eccentric actress. Emmett, the brawn. Jasper, the quiet one. And me, the cynical alcoholic. We partied a little too hard at night and slept a little too much during the day. We always stayed until last call at the bars, stumbling into the apartment complex around 4 A.M., drunk off our asses and laughing loudly at the most ridiculous things.

Two nights before school started, we were at Wicked Willy's, a bar favored among college students for its cheap alcohol and beer pong set up. The five of us were sitting in the lounge area, working through our third round of drinks in an hour when Alice suddenly gasped.

"Goddammit!" She exclaimed, a look of disgust coming over her features. We all looked at her with matching looks of confusion. I was about to ask her if she was having drunken Tourettes when I heard a velvety voice behind me.

"Good evening Alice." My eyes widened as Alice scowled. I turned around slowly, taking in the pressed khaki pants and polo shirt before moving my eyes up to the green eyes and bronze hair. Next to Edward stood a stunning strawberry-blonde. She had to be at least 5'9", and couldn't have weighed more than 100 pounds soaking wet. She would have been gorgeous were it not for the scowl that distorted her features.

"Alice," she spit out, her voice low and gravelly.

"Tanya," Alice replied with equal venom. "Interesting running into you here. I didn't think this was your kind of place."

"It's not," Tanya shrugged. "But Edward wanted to try a new bar, so here we are. Although," she added, looking around, "it's not exactly the most hygienic place in the world. I wouldn't be surprised if people were doing drugs in the bathroom," she sniffed disdainfully. I struggled not to roll my eyes. Alice made no such effort as Emmett guffawed.

"Well, Alice, aren't you going to introduce me to your friends?" Edward asked, a teasing edge to his voice.

"Edward, this is my other roommate Rosalie, and our neighbors Jasper and Emmett. You've already met Bella. Everyone, this is my brother, Edward, and his girlfriend, Tanya." Her voice sounded bored as she made the round of introductions. Edward nodded at each person in turn.

"It's nice to meet you all. Bella, a pleasure to see you again."

I barely registered his words as I kept my eyes trained on Tanya. Her blue eyes narrowed when he spoke to me, her scowl deepening. I felt a sharp jab to my ribs.

"Bella! Jasper's going to get another round of drinks. What do you want?" I looked away from Tanya at Alice, who was bouncing impatiently on the cushioned bench. I quickly downed what was left in my glass.

"Grey Goose and Orange Juice," I requested. Jasper nodded his head and took orders from the rest of the group.

"Do they have champagne here?" I heard Tanya ask. I muttered under my breath as Jasper answered her question.

"No. Beer and hard liquor."

"What kind of place doesn't serve champagne?" She whined, her voice raising an octave. I couldn't take it. I had only been in her presence for five minutes and I'd had enough. Not to mention I was buzzed and her voice reminded me too much of Leah's.

"Tanya, are you going to order a drink or just sit there and bitch? Because if you aren't planning on ordering, can you please let Jasper go get the drinks so I can continue with my night out?" I heard Rosalie gasp in shock as Alice jabbed her elbow into my ribs again. Tanya's eyes widened in at my blatant disrespect and Edward fought to hide a grin.

"Yes! Bella got her bitch on!" Alice cheered, high-fiving me.

"Bella always get her bitch on when she's being kept from drinking," I informed her, my voice testy. Tanya was still silent. "Okay, then, since Tanya obviously isn't going to come to a decision any time soon, Edward, what do you want?" I asked him, ignoring the death glare Tanya turned on me.

"Heineken," he requested, a smile in his voice. He was promptly booed by every member of our group. "What?" He asked, holding his hands up in surrender. "I have to work tomorrow." Jasper just rolled his eyes as he left to get the drinks, Emmett behind him. Tanya said something about using the bathroom and turned on her heel.

"Keep away from the drugs, darling!" Alice called out merrily, collapsing against me in laughter.

"Alice," Edward scolded her. "Be nice." She stuck her tongue out at him.

"I don't feel like it," she answered childishly as she patted the cushion between us. "Come sit!" Her eyes were glazed over and she was slurring slightly, her head tilting from side to side. Leave it to the tiny pixie to get drunk first. Edward smiled as he sat down between us, his leg accidentally grazing mine. I pulled back quickly, shocked by the electricity. If Edward noticed, he didn't acknowledge it.

Alice started filling Edward in on the conversation we had been having as Emmett and Jasper came back with our drinks. I took mine gratefully and downed half of it, Emmett looking on in appreciation.

"My kind of girl!" He whistled, slapping me on the back. I just rolled my eyes as Rosalie kicked him lightly in the shins when he sat down next to her. It wasn't like he hadn't seen me drink before; we had been out together every night for the past week.

A uniformed bartender came by and set down six shot glasses filled to the brim with an amber-colored liquid. I raised my eyebrows at Emmett, knowing he was behind it. He just grinned cheekily at me.

"A round on me!" He cheered, picking up one of the glasses.

"There's only six," I pointed out dryly.

"I didn't think Tanya would want a shot of anything as unrefined as Southern Comfort," he stage-whispered. I snorted in appreciation and looked over at Edward, who was nodding.

"Tanya's not one for hard liquor," he agreed, lifting his beer to his perfect lips and taking a sip.

"Are you?" I asked bluntly, not caring if I sounded pushy.

"Normally, yes, but I have a meeting at 8 in the morning, so I probably shouldn't," he explained, his tone apologetic. I shot him a sidelong glance as the others picked up their shot glasses.

"You're sure?" I asked. He nodded, his eyes scanning the room for the Wicked Bitch of the West. "Okay. Your loss, my gain," I mumbled under my breath, lifting a shot glass in each hand.

"What are we toasting to?" Rosalie asked, speaking for the first time since Edward had joined us.

"To our last night of freedom until June. May we drink to much and not remember a thing in the morning," Emmett toasted.

"Here, here!" We cheered, clinking our glasses together. I threw my head back and took the first shot, then quickly followed with the second. I slammed the glasses back on the table, sitting back against the booth to catch my breath. Edward looked at me, his expression a mixture of admiration and disbelief.

"What?" I asked shortly, already guessing what he was going to say and not in the mood for it.

"You're really into drinking, aren't you?" I shook my head vehemently.

"I'm really into having a good time, and since your girlfriend decided to interrupt, I have to catch up. See, normally by now, I'd be well into my fifth or sixth drink, but because of Tanya's little fit, I'm only on my fourth. Hence the double shots and the request I'm putting in now for another shot," I retorted, rifling through my bag for my money. "I'll be back," I said, pushing myself off the booth only to fall back down.

"Careful," Edward cautioned, catching my arm as I tumbled back.

"I'm fine."

"Why don't you let me walk you to the bar?" He offered, standing up and holding out his hand.

"You can do whatever you want, buddy." I strode purposefully towards the bar, Edward close on my heels. I made my way to the bartender and ordered a shot of Patron, along with another Vodka/OJ. Edward stood quietly behind me as I paid the bartender and waited impatiently for my drinks.

"Did I do something to offend you?" His voice was so quiet I almost didn't hear him. I sighed.

"No, Edward, you didn't do anything. I've just had a rough day, and your girlfriend reminds me of someone from home that I couldn't stand. That's all. I'm sorry I'm taking it out on you." My eyes met his so he could see I was sincere.

It was true. Tanya reminded me too much of Leah with her whiny voice and demanding ways. And I had had a rough day. I had spent most of the day fighting with Charlie over my course schedule. He felt that since he was paying, he had a right to choose my courses. I begged to differ, and had done so for three hours this afternoon. It had put me in a foul disposition, and I honestly felt bad for taking it out on Edward.

He smiled a crooked smile and put his hand on my shoulder. "It's alright. I just don't want to be on bad terms with any of Alice's roommates. Something tells me I'll be seeing a lot of you guys." My heart sped up at the prospect, but I kept my face passive. "And I know Tanya's hard to deal with sometimes."

My drinks arrived in front of me. "You sure you don't want a shot?" I wiggled my eyebrows at him. "Everyone else is doing it!" He laughed.

"You're a bad influence, Bella Swan."

"Don't I know it. Is that a yes?" He sighed heavily.

"Why not?" I smiled widely and turned to the bartender.

"One more shot of Patron!" I ordered, digging my money out of my purse. Edward put out a hand to stop me, but I slapped it away. "Uh-uh, my treat," I insisted. "You can get the next round." He laughed.

"You're pretty sure about that," he teased, leaning in closer as his shot was delivered to him.

"When it comes to shots, I'm always sure," I said in what I hoped was a seductive manner. There was no telling how it came off since I was well past intoxicated. He raised his drink, motioning for me to do the same.

"To proving you wrong," he toasted. I snorted.

"I will never toast to that."

"Just drink it," he ordered playfully, putting the glass to his lips.

"Yes sir!" I mock saluted, clinking my glass to his. I wrinkled my nose against the potent taste as the liquid slid down my throat. I laughed when I opened my eyes and saw the same look on Edward's face. Actually, his two faces. I squinted one eye closed to stop the double vision and nearly fell off the barstool I was sitting on. Edward had reflexes like a cat, because he caught me before I was even halfway to the ground.

"Oof," I groaned. Edward smiled as he sat me upright, his face only inches from mine.

"You okay?"

"Yeah. I'm clumsy when I'm sober, so adding alcohol to the mix doesn't help matters." He just shook his head, keeping his hand on me. His skin was warm on mine, and I found myself never wanting him to remove it. My body started leaning towards him against my will. I was staring into his beautiful green eyes when I heard the voice.

"Edward, there you are!" Tanya's voice assaulted my ears. "I've been looking all over for you! We should really get going," she said, her voice raised to an unholy octave. She was obviously upset at seeing us together. He looked back and forth between the two of us, torn between loyalty to her and being rude to me. I decided to make his decision real easy.

"I've got to get back to the crew. Edward, it was nice talking to you. I'm sure I'll see you around. Tanya," I acknowledged her with a nod of my head and walked back to where my friends were sitting. Alice was lying down in the booth when I returned. I put my face right above hers.

"You okay there, Al?" Her eyes snapped open and she gave me a goofy grin.

"Bella!" She cried, raising her arms up to me. I snickered.

"Okay, I think it's time to get you home, drunkie." Emmett picked her up and started to carry her out of the bar.

"Edward!" She shouted from Emmett's arms, struggling against him. I turned around to see Edward leading Tanya out behind us.

"Alice, you nut. You're drunk."

"Thank you, Captain Obvious," she retorted, collapsing back into Emmett's arms. Edward chuckled.

"Get her home safe for me?" He asked Emmett.

"Of course, man. We'll make sure she calls you tomorrow." Edward smiled gratefully.

"Thanks. I appreciate it. We'll see you guys soon," he promised, heading in the opposite direction.

"Do we have too?" I heard Tanya whine. I looked over at Jasper and Rosalie and rolled my eyes in unison with theirs.

"Well, that was fun," Rose mumbled sarcastically as we began the four-block walk back to the apartment complex.

By the time we got back, Alice was snoring softly in Emmett's arms and Rosalie and I were supporting each other up the stairs, giggling as we fought to find our footing. I fumbled to put the key in lock as Rosalie shifted from foot to foot. Jasper had quietly gone up to his place, knowing Alice was in good hands, so it was just the four of us.

"Bella, come on! I have to pee!" Rose whined.

"Ah ha!" I crowed triumphantly, turning the key in the lock and throwing the door open. Emmett snickered as Rose scampered to the bathroom, laying Alice gently on the sofa.

"Thanks for helping us get her home," I whispered to Emmett, trying not to wake Alice.

"Anytime. I can't let my girls get hurt," he said affectionately. Rose walked into the living room and flopped onto the nearest chair. "You girls take care. I'll check on you tomorrow to make sure you're still alive," he laughed quietly, giving Rosalie a kiss on the head and pecking my cheek.

I groaned and laid down on the floor. "I'm going to feel like shit in the morning," I complained, knowing full well I had brought this on myself.

"Me, too," Rosalie moaned from across the room. "I already feel like shit." That's the last thing I remember before I passed out.


End file.
